Aviaja, 31
Submitted Jul 16, 2006
Have met my father Aviaja has met her father
My father is dead Aviaja's father is dead
My father died when I was 15. He had been in my life, but only during holidays, since my mom and sister lived by ourselves.
The fact that he vanished from my life all of a sudden, has caused me a lot of pain. I have tried to live up to him always - he had high expectations while he at the same time could not live up to his role as a father.

He was an alcoholic, and that has haunted me as well. Because meanwhile I say that I couldn't be an alcoholic, I have the potential. And when I am stressed I drink too much.

I have thoughts about killing myself. I don't know if you understand this but it's tough being a good girl all the time, while I have this pain inside me from his death.

I miss him so much I wish I could join him. It hurts so bad. It seems I can never get the love that I yearn for because it was never there as I needed it.
1 comment:
Jan 30, 2007, Gabriella wrote:
Hello. Thanks for sharing your story with us. I recognize your feelings and I understand what it's like to lose a parent just like that. I hope you can move on and that you can manage to "survive" the hard times without any alcohol, that only makes it even worse. Good luck!