Martina, 23
Submitted Jul 26, 2006
Have met my father Martina has met her father
My parents separated when I was 5 years old. I don't remember much from that time of my childhood. My mother and I moved far away from my father, so I didn't have any contact with him - only by phone. I always had to call him when I wanted to talk to him, he never called me except on my birthday och christmas (I think my mother reminded him).

Sometimes when I got older I decided not to stay in contact with him, he never called me, he never said he loved me and he never came and to visit me. So now when I'm 23 years old, I don't care if he calls or not. We have nothing to talk about anyway.

Now it's start to show that something is missing in my life. My relationship to men is hard: I don't really trust them, so I don't let them come too close into my life. I don't know how to continue, I want to be loved, but I don't let them love me.
I don't want to be this vulnerable.
1 comment:
Nov 12, 2006, anniematilda wrote:
hey martina. i just wanted to say that it might as well could have been me who wrote what you wrote, about relationships with other men. and it's not until now recently that i've figured out that this situation, growing up without a father, probably have affected many areas in my life. except for failed relationships with guys my age or in some cases older, i have also searched for fatherfiguers. my english professor, my drivers license teacher and a professor at the university...it's difficult to face the truth but i'm starting to come to terms with it...it's just the way it is right now. but i hope that it will change, that we can find ourselves a man that will make us feel safe.