Thank you for sharing a bunch of strong females biography, all ages, nationalities, civil status.
Including Maria Bäck whom we must thank for this site!

Did I have an aquaintance with my biological father?
Aquantance is the specific therm to use, yes.
He never came along not even at my birth to say hello, posted a card og a present for birthday or christmas, for years I didnÂ't know of his exsistens. At age of nine some children at school teased me, that my father was dead. That was then my mother gave him a name, and a live.
I contacted him through a friend of my mother, a few years later. [ My mother had this awfull look when I mentioned him, never wanted to talk, and yet still kept telling me how much allike him I was, no loyality gained ]Then visiting him, at the age of 12, I certainly didn t feel welcomed. My father was holding on to his Ph.D. degree, and had two daugthers.
I had to pay the travell, across the country, my father never asked me, my mother denied to pay.
I was put in a corner to watch scractbooks from his greatgrandmothers livetime. Never asked me how I felt like, never asked me about mates at school, things I loved to do. A few visits, but he never called me.
I saw this famuily jewish they are, inheritaded all that part of my personality, which indeed, was unfamiliar to my family my mother, my mothers sister, my cousins..But not to me!
My fathers family never knew of my existens, I am to day somehow still a half person. There never were any gatherings which included me, i simply wasn t invited, in that family.Did not exist.

My father claims that he did right to leave, it was my mother s fault, that we did not keep in contact.
And he think, that my mother spoilted me rotten
[ I left when I was 15 from my mother, many lived years ago - but he does not see me, only his own hetred towards Lone my bological mother ] As I gave birth to a dead girl, he came across, to lift and carry the cage out of the church. The gathering after he didn t access, he just went of.
Afterwards my boyfriend said, that my dad had told him, he would attend a 60 year afternoon party!!!
My mother also did not attend, she is an alcoholic academic, you could never trust an appointment, neither of these to made. Such illoyality they kept up towards me both of them for years.


After that experience, I closed my door. I accept these to people accidently became my parents, they contributed to the 68 sexual partner change, I sort of am a result of that experiment, neither did they want one another, they were inmature, intellectually ambitious, but in their search for...souverenity, they never seemed to clash into...love. Emphathy, listening, coworking as parents. They kept it up with their academically ambitiouns, and their poor libido - .. and had good carriers both.

Now they both are former teachers, my mother probally drinks a lot, my father consumes one lady after the other. Abusers, they are. It is not that they particulary did not love me, they did not and they do not, nor of these to people are cabable in love, I think that this my lack of belonging, that I share with loads of you, derived from the fact that I never had a father, is an urge to long, be longing whatfor? I gain more knowledge concerning jewish people, love klezmer music, write short stories, but will ever that wound heel? Yes, somehow, I guess: The wound shall heel for me, and you when I only make my live miraculous. I find my fathers, the jews I never knew, I find and dig my personality, I even find acceptance that I never knew my grandparents history - they as jews refuugeed to Sweden during 2.world war, I want to know that story..
the whole story... that is my way of forgiven, but yes some people simple don t know how to maintain a geiniune relationship, some people are mission immpossible, and we should not let them be anything but impossible. And yes, they proberly never shall anything but deny their own acts or/and lack of acts
[ to be neclected, what horror for a girl or boy ),
but that is their responsibilities their emotional fucked up scrap. Let them live and die in their own denied failures.

LOve them? Why continue to translate love as = suffer, do not deserve to be listened to, When you can get huged, embrassed with birthsdayspresents, to stick up your side when you need to be protected, to be loved, seen, listened to.Let go of these old warn out, painfull patterns, derive new patterns, let s learn together to get involved, and increase self esteem. And then, by doing this, eventually forgive these people, and let go of them.

Be in peace Lone and Jan.And thanks a million to my
lovely aount Dorrit for all your support.