I-ngr-id, 40
Submitted May 31, 2006
Grew up with, never felt loved I-ngr-id grew up with her father but never felt truly loved
I have a twinsister!

My mother and father have fought since they first met. They are so different!

They divorced when we were 4, for the first time, and I haven't counted the number of times they came back together.

My mother talked really badly about my father. She still would, if my sister and I allowed it! But now we're just fed up, we will not listen to it anymore!

We moved about for several reasons, at the age of 18 I had lived in exactly 30 places and attended 5 schools.

My father is and has been as long as I've lived - an alcoholic. some periods he's sober! I know now that he was depressed when he was not drunk. I see him once in a while. I have never really been able to relax with him, even though I love him.

Fearing his unpredictability, irritability and rejections. I have had a very hard time believing in myself. Still have! And I've never been with a boyfriend more than half a year. I choose the wrong kind or cannot bear the harmony?!

I'm fortunate with my sister, that we had each other, we are sure it's what kept us sane and alive.

And now: really lovely to have many more sisters around the world to share the feelings with.