I havenÂ't met my father in five years, but IÂ've tried to contact him several times. Last time was in the begining of this year, 2006. I decided as a new years resolution to call him once a week. And so I did. It all seemed to work very well, and one day, I felt like "yes, itÂ's working!"

For both my father and I it is hard to talk in telephone, we donÂ't like it, but now it felt good. Really good. So I decided to ask my dad if we could meet at the boarder between Sweden and Norway (he lives north of Oslo, the Norwegian capital). And when I asked him, he snorted and told me "Do you know how much it cost to drive through Oslo?"

I donÂ't really know what the price is, but I know that it canÂ't be much more than maybe 5 Euros. It felt almost like I could pay it myself, but all I did was to hang up on him. And I think that was the right thing to do. Because during the years he has cause me so many tears of pain, anger and sorrow.

The relation to my father have the last years made me depressed around Christmas time, and I have done stupid things like blaming myself, cut my arms, and thought about commiting suicide.

If it hadenÂ't been for my friends help during this year, I donÂ't think I would have been alive today. And this story is just a tiny piece of whatÂ's happened during all these years. I have to state, I love all my wonderful friends.

1 comment:

Hej! Såg att du också bor i Göteborg. Jag heter Erika och är 22 år och har lite funderingar på att starta upp en lite grupp som ses typ en gång i månaden för att fika och prata av sig om pappor och annat. Om du tycker att det skulle kunna vara något så hör av dig!

Med vänliga hälsningar Erika