My mum and dad separated when I was about 1 and a half years old than he moved but before he met my mum he already had a daughter that is ten years older than me, and she had it almost like me but I have a little bit harder but it started when my half big sister been home att us and and i was born my mum and dad tought about a good name forme than my bigger sister came and told that She look like a Johanna so the name was johanna then my mum and dad separate and i don't remember all these years but my mum told me much stories about him and she told me that he wanted the costady and so did my mum. So she was working hard to get the costady over me and she got it and i should be'lucky for that.

When i was 4 years old I lived at hes house about a week than he had a new girl that had a son hes name was victor and he was like my brother but I didnt like when he caled my dad for dad so i told him that he wasent his dad and that he was my dad but when i told victor that my dad came and yell att me and i cryide alot over that and when i was about 6 years old he got a son that named christopher and he didnt now that i was hes older sister so i cryed  very much and always when i wanted to be up there and be whit him he said ok why not so when i was up there he just leaved me to hanna and he was whit is friends and just leaved me and i realy hated him soo much when he did soo to me but on the  inside i realy loved him to. Than he mowed to englad and he never told me about that soo i tryed to contact him and soo and i called my grandmother and gradfather and they didnt now either were he were so i gave up the hope to se my dad but in 2 years later someone called us and my mum called att me and saud that it was a specail persson and so i pick uåpp the phone and here a manvoice he told me that he was in england and i told him that i missed him soooo much and that i loved him but i didnt get a answer on that so i cryed and he said that i shouldent cry fore that, then it took trhee years before  met my dad again he told me that he should  mowed up to thailand so it took some more years before i did heard of himand that year he got in hospital because a motorcyclegang "biked" over him or what youre now call it and i thought that he was dead but he called me later that year then the tsunami came and i thought he never would make it but he did he had flyid on week before that and i was sooooo happy fore that and he called me one day and wanted to met me and i was happy fore that so i sat up on the rode and wated fore him al the day and took my rollerblade and went up and down up and down and he never came i started too cry and i didnt heard of him of some years and my mum supported me all the time for this. But some couple of years later he told me that he had a new girlfriend and that she were having a baby and i think when is this shit going to an end, it feels like he never loved me he just wants kids and he never wanted to love them its a big shit of crap.and at the 2006 summervication he wanted me to drive upp to him whit my cousins and first he only was whit daniela my oldest cousin and when becca came three days later he only cared about her he gave her candy,shoes and many more things like a t-shirt,pants and i got nothing  .. it was like i was never there it was like he never seen me that it was a wall over me and that he couldent see me and i wanted to tell him that but i was to afraid to tell him that...and when we were asleep he biked to hes friend stefan and was there the hole night and i didnt now were he where in the morning and soo..later that week he started to talk bad things about my mum and said that she was a skräphöna and that she act like a bitch and i started to yell things to him that he coukld be that him self and i didnt want a dad that talkl about my mum like that because he haved loved her and you can love the person you love hate the person you hate but do never hate the person you onced loved...and the thay after that we should ride  down to the lake  and take a bath and so we did and at the same time we drived down there he drank a extra strong bear and i said that i didnt wanted to go whit him if he going do drink and drive and then he told me that i could walked than andi realy wanted call the police so they could arrest him or take his drivingcard but i was to afraid and i started to cry the day after and he called me a big crying girl and said to me that i was goffy that i cruid and that 12 years girls dondt cry and i called home to my mum and asked her to pick me up and she couldent do that and so we called my cousins parents and ask them if they could pick us up and so they did and i am very hapy for that

In the new year he called me and told me that he mowed to norway and i didnt have his phone number or adress and i d not want to met him any more or talk to him  because he never support me likle my mum have don al these years and i love my mum more than anything i wood kill my self for her but i should be more lucky that i have a stephfather now that taken care about me since i was about 3 years old and i really want to call him dad but it's very hard when i now when i already have a dad and sometime i wish i never met my dad and i now that all my suister and brothers wont met him and get a better father then him beacuse his is a real pain in youre as and i hate and love him at the same time but in the deapst i wold never forget him or stop love him :'(


if there is someone that would like to talk to me with the same problem email me at suuper__star@hotmail.com