okey, the story of my life.. the story is like any story out there.. my father abused my mother for some years, when she was pregnant with me, after my birth and then finally even I got to witness his anger.
My mother left my, so called, father after 3-4 years of terror. I was 2 years old and I now lived with both my parents.. finaly he, as i mentioned above, started abusing me and then abandoned me.
That he left me was probably for my own good, but it has truly tormented me during the last 7 years.. even longer if i think back on my depression-like outbursts in my childhood.

after 4 years in therapy, I no longer feel as if it was my fault he left me, I no longer feel a desire to die, and I havenÂ't had a depression in 1,5 years. Still, I still cry when i think back on my worst times, and when I talk or think about him..

me and my psychologist even drew some parallelles between my ex boyfriends and my father, they have some scary  resemblances and I donÂ't seem to respect men if they are "to nice"..
good for me I now know this and can work with my respect towards my new boyfriend, and we seem to have that perfect line between to good and to bad.