I grew up without my father, he left my mum when she was pregnant. Shortly after my birth he came back, but couldnÂ't commit once again. IÂ've always felt that I missed out on a male role-model and I still do...this has effected me more than IÂ've realized..Since forever I have searched for love in older men. IÂ've wanted love so badly that IÂ've lost control of myself and my feelings..I develop very strong feelings for men (not all men of course, IÂ've been in love 2 times so far) and IÂ'm afraid that no one will ever be able to fil that empty room in my heart. I demand love from men who are not capable of loving another person, they come from tough backgrounds themselves...this makes me wonder why I choose these men since they obviously cannot give me what I need.

I met my father a few times but he wasnÂ't present at all...He didnÂ't take responsibility for me or my sisters (IÂ'm an only child but I have 5 half-sisters from different mothers) He passed away almost 10 years ago.

I truly hope I can talk with other girls here, weÂ're all the same...